By Jon Moray
This baseball story was first published for R U Joking? online magazine in April 2023. Enjoy!
“Are you my new bench coach?” the new Baytown Bunnies manager called out from the dugout to a heavy set man at home plate choking up on a bat.
The coach hustled over from hitting grounders to the infielders. “Hi, Howie Knowles.”
“Well, where’s Howie, so I can ask him?”
“I’m Howie, your new bench coach. Nice to meet you,” he said, extending his hand.
“Likewise,” the manager answered. “Howie, I heard you were the manager of the the AA affiliate last season, give me three players that can compete for the starting third base job.”
“Well, there’s Aaron May, Gregory Wood, and Carlos Cant,” Knowles said, scratching the side of his head with the brim of his ball cap.
“If Carlos can’t, why did you mention him?” the manager’s face wrinkled.
“Because Carlos could and Carlos would.”
“I thought you said Gregory Wood?”
“Gregory would and Gregory may also play shortstop, in a pinch.”
“What about Aaron May?”
Aaron would, most definitely.”
“Aaron went from may to would, at third and shortstop?” the manager shook his head to combat confusion.
“Oh, no. Aaron can’t.”
“So now Aaron and Carlos can’t?”
“No, Carlos Cant and Aaron May.”
“I can’t stand all this indecision,” the manager huffed. “I think we should just go with Gregory Wood at third base. Can he hit?”
“Kenny Hitt plays left field.”
Moray Writes 